Thursday, August 13, 2009

What was I saying?

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened. ~Rita Rudner

Men do forget everything. We forget that last week we went out to the sports bar with Dan instead of going to an afternoon matinee of the latest Drew Barrymore chick flick. We forget that we were supposed to stop and get milk on the way home. Men forget your birthday, Christmas and even their anniversaries. (Note Men do NOT forget Valentine's Day as this is proven to be the day you are most likely to fornicate with a woman). We pride ourselves on all the things we forget. As a Man it is our job to forge out into the world and seek adventures. We forget to see that Drew Barrymore movie because the big Giants-Cowboys game was on and Dan just found a bar that has atomic wings. We forgot our anniversary because every day is an anniversary, the anniversary of being with this woman. Men just don't sweat the little things. We only remember if you were caught cheating on us and what your favorite drink may be. Men are always moving forward. We are always trying to go to the next big adventure. We apologize that 2 months ago you asked for fresh lemons and we only bought you Minute-made Lemonade. We are busy living in the real world. We only have time to make sure that you are faithful to us and that we may be able to get you a bit tipsy. Any Man who remembers more than this is just asking for trouble.

Men remember that directions should be thrown out the window. Men know that a computer cannot tell you how to get the stadium, you just need to go out and find it yourself with beers and your hibachi grille in the trunk to enjoy a steak. Building a shelf- screw directions and use the pieces from the box to make your own. This is why Men will never understand women. Women do remember everything and women remind you of the things you forget at the least opportune time. During an argument 4 months later you are reminded you missed Titanic's opening night premiere. A Man's response is usual shock and awe that his significant other was able to recall that. But alas we are Men and we will never be able to change the fact that what we forget is enough to write volumes of books. Now if only I could remember where I left those tickets to the AC/DC concert next week.

-Man 2

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