Friday, August 28, 2009

Today's Manly Lesson 1

My driving is rivaled only by the lightning bolts from the heavens!
~The Sheik from Cannonball Run

Some days are just meant to put you in your place and let you know that you are not instoppable.
You are heading off to the ballpark to catch your team defeat their rivals. You scored some great seats from a friend of a friend who always talks the talk and finally came through! Weather is perfect and your ready to take your dad/son/friend/date to possibly the best sports experience of your life(aside from your "one handed catch story" from high school!)
You pack the car up with tailgating items and you are off...
Nothing can stop you until WHAMMY you feel a sweet tug of life telling you something is wrong.
That sweet tug is your car tire blowing out. As a safe driver you do not overeact when this happens. *Note you should always check your tire pressure and inspect your car - duh, you are a man.

OK, I assume you are a man(or person who wants to be awesome) and possibly never had this life skill dropped on you...
So here is the quick list of how to change a tire


1 Blow out - or - Nail in the tire issue.
2 Safely get your vehicle to a flat level surface.
3 If in traffic put on your hazards, get in a straight-away zone and be visible.
4 Open your boot/trunk and get out all tools needed. They should be neatly
engineered to fit in a ridiculous space or package. Check your owners manual if
you cannot locate them. If you don't have them, stop here and call your mother
for help.
5 Loosen the lug nuts with the tire iron; do this on the ground stupid it won't spin
6 Find your jack and line it up to the pinchwelds where the panels of your vehicle
meet - or - if you have a truck on the frame in the designated area(see your
7 Jack It! (pervert)
You will need a good inch or two under the blown tire(get your mind outta the
8 Remove the lugs and put them somewhere safe.
9 Remove the flat tire.
10 Put on the spare/donut.
11 Hand tighten the lugs in a star design or alternating if 4 bolts are present.
Make sure the tire is not wobbly at this time.
12 Lower the jack.
13 Tighten the lugs with the tire iron. Do this in an alternating pattern if there are
four bolts - or again in the star design.
14 Put the tire and tools in your car.
15 Do not drive fast - this is probably why you just changed a tire.


-Man 1

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